Parenting Tips from a Survivor—Part
1
By Chuck Gartman
Posted October 13, 2005
As a young youth minister with no children I had 10 Commandments
for Child rearing; once I had children I had 10 Suggestions
for Child Rearing, and now that I have seen my last teenager
turn 20 years old, I have 10 Questions about Child Rearing.
No one has all the answers because each family circumstance
is different, each child is different, and each parent is
different. However, there are some tips that may be helpful
as we try to rear our youth in a fast-paced, no-holds-barred,
no boundaries 21st Century. Over the next several months this
section will be devoted to some lessons that my wife and I
have learned--sometimes the hard way--in rearing our three
adult daughters.
This month’s topic is “How to Win Their Trust”
or “Communication with Teenagers in the Home.”
Below are eight suggestions that you might find helpful:.
1. Set a healthy spiritual example yourself.
The greatest training ground for spiritual development is
the home. If we want our teens to have healthy spirituality,
then we as parents must be moving in that direction as well.
The church is only a supplement to this important aspect of
helping our youth to mature. We won’t win the trust
of our teens or be able to communicate with them in a spiritual
way without having an ongoing personal relationship with the
Lord ourselves.
2. Realize that teens are people, too. The
most crucial of all relationships is the one between parent
and teenager. All of us coming to grips with the fact that
each of us is a person with feelings, emotions, opinions,
and ideas will aid in the communication process.
3. Decide to be a peacemaker. This will
require discipline on our parts. It is a conscious decision
to be a peace wager in the family.
4. Be willing to become vulnerable. Share
feelings with “I” messages and be willing to admit
when you are wrong. Facing the fact that there are sometimes
injustices in rearing teens will go a long way to opening
up communication lines.
5. Try to see life from each others perspectives.
The truth is: life in the 21st century is radically different
that life when we were teenagers. Ask your teen his/her opinion.
They sometimes have really good ideas.
6. Do some things together as a family.
Take vacations, go on picnics, go to concerts, go to the movies,
eat meals together (I know that this is difficult), have fun
together.
7. Be consistent. Trust will never be developed
on either side without this.
8. Pray a lot! God is more interested in
our families than we are, so talking with Him is very appropriate.
Remember I Corinthians 10:13.
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