Parenting Tips from a Survivor—Part 4

By Chuck Gartman

Posted December 15, 2005

Back in the late 70’s and early 80’s we used the term “Latchkey Kids” to describe children and youth who went home after school to empty homes. Either both of the parents worked or the single parent with whom they lived, worked. Today we call this “Virtual Parenting.” The consequence of “latchkey kids” was that they were being reared by the TV, the computer, and movies--either the ones on television or the ones they rented.

Because no guidance about right and wrong was being given by parents, many of the children did not have a value system when it came to judging the content of movies. As activities, ideas, or attitudes were portrayed in a movie they went into the minds of these youth without a right/wrong value assigned to it. Then, when they found themselves in similar situations they would merely act out what they had experienced in a movie.

Lest you think this may not be true, let me cite only one example. The weekend that the movie, Gone in 60 Seconds (a romantic movie about car theft) was released, car theft in St. Louis, MO, increased by 400%. Young people simply acted on what they saw in a movie without regard to rightness of the actions.

One thing that our family has done for years to help our children understand what is right and wrong in movies is a little game. I mentioned it in last months article. Whenever an inappropriate scene or some inappropriate language came on the screen, we just called our “inappropriate behavior.” I am not suggesting that you holler that out at the theater, but I’m thinking that you may want to instill in your children and youth a system by which they judge behavior in movies as right or wrong. I am also not claiming that there will never be in problems in the minds of your teens. I am only suggesting that we all need a Christian value system attached to what we watch.

Here are a few more suggestions to help your teens (as well as yourself) start thinking clearly about what they are watching on the movies.

1. Evaluate everything that you watch and hear in light of Christian standards. This may be hard, but it is necessary.

2. Work hard at building some kind of accountability system with your teens about what movies they are watching with their friends.

3. Be careful to avoid extremes. Be calm about your assessment of what they are watching.

4. Know where to find help and information. Two websites will be helpful. www.youthtools.com and www.family.org (Focus on the Family website) and click on “Plugged In.” Both of these Christian websites have movie evaluations to help you and your teen decide what is best. One last resource is Understanding Today’s Youth Culture, by Walt Mueller. It is a great resource to help parents and youth leaders know what is happening the world of youth these days.