Parenting Tips from a Survivor—Part 7

By Chuck Gartman

Posted October 13, 2005

We’ve all heard the story about the father/teenage son “talk.” The dad says, “Well, Son, I guess it’s about time for us to talk about sex,” to which the boy replies, “Sure, Dad, what do you want to know?” The answer to the dilemma for that father in getting the information to his child about his sexuality is not an easy one with which to deal, so for the next two articles we will attempt to deal with this very difficult, but important subject in the rearing of teenagers in the 21 st Century.

For each of us to address this subject in our homes will require some diplomacy, intelligence, willingness, and intestinal fortitude. It will not be easy for us, but our young people need this information, so let’s get started.

There are basically two ways to address sexuality. One is the Greek Way—in this line of thought, the body and spirit are separate. The spirit is good, and the body is evil, so sexuality is limited to physical sex, and since it is of the body, it is evil. The other way is the Hebrew Way—Man is a whole person: body, soul, and spirit, so sexuality is connected with our entire lives. Everything we do is a reflection of our sexuality. In Genesis 1:27, the Bible says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (NIV) According to the scripture, then, each person has both a male and female side in their lives. In trying to help our children deal with their own sexuality, we must have an understanding of where they are in their developmental process. An excellent resource is available FREE from www.Lifeway.com. It is the online book entitled, Introducing the 21 st Century Teenager, by Allen Jackson and Dwayne Ulmer. The developmental process for teens is spelled out in language that each of us can understand. Go to the internet and read this valuable resource.

To close this article here are three good reasons WHY we need to talk with our teenagers about their sexuality. Tune in next month for the some additional information in the never-ending dilemma of rearing teens.

• They are going to get the information somewhere. Why not get it from their parents, instead of from their peers, magazines, paperback books, movies, writing on bathroom walls, and the internet?

• Ignorance can lead to experimentation and premature experimentation does have some disastrous pitfalls like sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, confusion, and guilt.

One’s sexuality is a powerful and significant force of the personality. If a person understands it, and uses it wisely, it adds to the happiness/meaning of life. BUT, if that person does not understand it, it can control him/her rather than them controlling and appreciating it.