Parenting Tips from a Survivor—Part 9

By Chuck Gartman

Posted December 16, 2005

Last January we alluded to the fact that if we are going to win our teens’ trust then we must make sure that our talk is verified in how we live. This month I want to focus more intently on this subject because it so critical. “What you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying” is the theme.

For this month’s article let’s focus on the personal part of modeling, and next month we will be more practical. From a familiar passage of scripture comes the outline for our discussion. Galatians 5:22-23 records Paul’s theology of being. When God’s Spirit dwells in us as Christian parents there will be some evidence of that. As we seek to be models for our teenagers of the Christian life, these characteristics will be seen in how we live.

*Love. This is God’s kind of love which is intentional. Best seen in Romans 5:8 God’s love is based on His unconditional acceptance of us and His sacrifice to save us. It is accepting our teens just like they are and offering ourselves to meet their greatest need.

*Joy is should be evident to our teens as well. It is our confident assurance based on a secure relationship with the Lord. Our teens can feel secure in their relationship with us when they see that we are secure in our relationship with the Father.

*Peace does not refer to absence of conflict but in the calm assurance that God will provide the resources for us no matter what happens to us. This quality is seen in the assuring our teens that we will provide for them as God has provided for us.

*Patience is best described as a “Godly putting up with.” Isn’t it just like God to do that for us? It is easily translated over to our relationship with our youth.

*Kindness is a goodness that has a sweet quality about it. As God has been kind to us, so we should be to our teens.

*Goodness is a word that demands accountability, balancing the sweetness of kindness with God’s desire for our righteousness.

*Faithfulness is being trustworthy. As we exhibit fidelity to God, our teens will observe a model for their own faithfulness to the Lord.

*Gentleness gives the idea of strength that is bridled by God’s power. A parent’s gentle touch in times of stress is the best picture of this.

*Self-control describes the inner strength of a person controlled by God. How God desires this of us in our relationship with our children!

These qualities are only possible for us when we are submissive to God’s management of our lives. We cannot manufacture them; they are evident because of the Spirit’s control of our lives. God’s character abiding in us gives us a sound theological base as we seek to model those qualities practically for our teenagers. Tune in next month for some practical applications of a parent’s character which is molded by God.