Parenting Tips from a Survivor—Part 18

By Chuck Gartman

Posted December 16, 2005

It has been estimated that the average person makes about 1000 decisions a day. Most of those we do without thinking, but some are more critical than whether or not to brush our teeth, so as parents we must give our youth some handles by which they can make intelligent, responsible decisions.

The truth is that the decisions that youth make today will in large measure determine how their lives will be in the future. Taking into account such factors as family, conscience, culture, prayer, friends, tradition, history, laws, the Bible, knowledge, facts, and the work of the Holy Spirit will help us guide our teens to make sound decisions on which to base their future.

Three major decisions that most every youth will make are: 1) What will I do with Christ? 2) Who will I marry or if I will marry? And 3) What will my vocation be? What they do with the first decision about Christ will in largely determine the direction of the other two decisions. As parents we will want to lead them to a saving knowledge of Christ and then guide them in the other two items.

When it comes to accepting Christ as Savior, youth will want to consider that Christ can make them into completely new people (2 Corinthians 5:17), that He wants the very best for them (Philippians 1:9-11), and that He died and was raised from the dead in order that their sins would be forgiven and for them to live in His power. This decision not only has ramifications for their immediate future, it has consequences for eternity as well.

Something my parents said to me that many teens today would do well to remember is this: “every date is a potential mate.” Youth may want to consider the religious, economic, educational, and emotional background of those that they date, but ultimately, they must determine if God desires for them to marry a certain individual or not. Some questions to guide your teen to ask are these: 1) Who will I date? 2) How long will I date them? 3) What kind of person is he/she? 4) Would I want that person to be the parent of my children? 5) Can I invite this person to be involved with me in my Christian activities? Something to remind your children: How they conduct themselves on dates will determine how they will conduct themselves in marriage.

Regarding the major choice of vocation, here are some decisions that everyone must make: 1) Will I continue my education past high school? 2) Will I cheat now on homework and tests? 3) Will I do my best at everything I attempt? Again, the decisions that we make today impact how our lives will be in the future.

Decision-making is a major item in rearing our teens. It behooves us to guide teens toward a healthy way of making all the decisions that they will make in their lives.